a leap of faith

In life, there are always two choices, always.

Some choices are easy, but some are much harder.

Most times it involves a decision between the familiar and the unknown.

And most times, we choose the easier option - to go with the familiar, to stay within our comfort zones - so we need not put in so much effort in committing to that decision. 

Or so that it will be easier to follow through on our so-called 'priorities'.

But once in awhile, there comes a choice which takes us off guard. 

It falls beyond the scope of what we've ever considered in the past.

It forces you to choose between the easy priorities you've always had or to create a new parameter.

In these instances, I take a long time to contemplate the matter.

Deep thoughts, serious thoughts - the rationale, the commitment involved, the implications.

I always hope to make the right decision. 

Some times its not always the easy one.

And some times with incomplete information, you just have to take a leap of faith.

On the same note, its time to make the hard choice of getting back to work. 

Enough of thinking, more of doing. 

9 days till finals. 

9 days of guts out slog. 

It's all good. 

The hardcore workaholic in me is pumped. 

(Or trying to be at least)

Taking that leap of faith again.

life..

It's definitely been awhile since I've blogged. But I guess i can afford myself a break from all that needs to be done; my to-do-list is not short too! It seems thanksgiving is a break much looked forward to -- something I'd be definitely giving thanks for. To catch up on work, to get fit, to move forward in achieving my little goals that will improve life at Stanford, and, maybe, just a little recreation (we could all do with some).

I just planned the week out. Seems pretty packed -- reminiscent of my secondary school and junior college days. But definitely feels good to know that I'm using my time wisely. Hopefully its adequately paced though. I resolve to only go out once this week so that I can focus on getting ahead of work instead of merely keeping up.

Things seem to be falling into a comfortable cadence. I feel the push, but not the shove. Which is good in all respects. I just need to remain as motivated as I was in the first few weeks of school.

Here we go.

perspectives from boston

I am writing this from Boston. A place of much significance and memories. (and of course great company!!)

I will attempt to recount my experience chronologically.

day one.

I attended Singsem, and met many Singaporeans at the event. I realized I do not know a lot of them but it was a good opportunity to meet people 'from the same land, in the same land'. I must say I really enjoyed Prof Mabubani's plenary on Singapore's Defence and Security. Many thought-provoking questions asked, many clear responses given. It was insightful to say the least. As much as we get to learn about Singapore, it seems that a takeaway I have gained was the motivation to work harder just so that I could become more intellectually astute. It may be a stretch but something I definitely hope to work towards and not lose sight of.

After the seminar, we had a mini-RJ gathering

Toured Harvard, and as much as the buildings were fancy and all. Somehow i think stanford has started to grow on me. And i'm loving the country club feel! =]

Had dinner at Quincy's Market,

went to the Cheesecake Factory and headed back to the backpackers lodge. Walking around Boston was a pretty nostalgic experience but I think I will talk more about the nostalgia in day two. Boston Clam Chowder was the dish of choice, since we were in boston after all. and the cheesecake was just pure sin! the long walk back to our rock and roll lodge was -well for lack of a better word- long. but we managed to get there with our nifty iphone gps-es. and the shear power of bus 11. a good day overall, a tiring one.

day two.

Some of us went to tour Harvard again, but I decided to sleep in. At lunch time, we woke up to head to Little Italy. Had pasta at a decent pasta place and got cookies from mike's place. there was a queue. so i suppose it was good huh?

Those at Harvard went to the Charles River Regatta and said it was not that exciting. So instead we went back to the Quincy area for shopping. It was quite productive. =] I got a jacket and a scarf! no prizes for guessing the colour though! (especially if you know me well enough!) Towards dinner time, we headed to chinatown and had good food at penang, a malaysian restaurant. Roti Canai, pohpiah, asam laksa, bahkuteh, chickenrice,charkwayteow, sambal kangkong, stir fry veg. DURIAN MILKSHAKE, CHENDOL, PEANUT PANCAKE. I was a happy kid.

After that we went to visit Peabody Terrace. It was so wonderful to be at a place that was all too familiar. Almost surreal. The apartment buidings are still the same, the play grounds still woodchip. The function rooms, the diagonal walk way leading to our apartment. The water fountain's gone though. Needless to say, I was taking many many pictures of the place.

Momentarily lost my bearings but soon found the familiar route Marc and i used to walk to school every day. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and an insurpressable grin on my face -- such a nostalgic experience -- I recalled all the memories I had of boston, of peabody and realised how 11 years have just flown by and I've come back to the place where i once lived on my own this time. The school was very much as i remembered it as well. Those green doors the black words on a white washed building. The play ground at the side. but i guess i didnt get to explore more since it was at night and the school was closed!

we headed back soon after, stopping by 7-11 along the way to pick up some food for the hungry. the long walk back to the backpackers inn seemed less dreary this time round and we prepared to depart for California the next morning.

also, a picture of our truly humble abode.

my first attempt at photoblogging. =P and some of the pictures are pretty terrible. I will improve on my camera skills!

the deafening silence - a moment of contemplation

Its a thursday night, but it is uncharacteristically quiet. A dead silence seems to blanket the whole atmosphere. I suspect it's because many people have IHUM papers due tomorrow and possibly midterms? Or maybe I'm missing some really exciting party that the whole campus is attending.

But then again, what constitutes missing out? For everything we do there is surely an opportunity cost. Today I am pretty content to stay in my room and just mull over the intricacies of life, over my priorities and over my IHUM essay (that is fortunately due on Tuesday).

I decided to look back at some of my reflections done during my UGPMET course. Growth, Influencing Others, Meaningful Work. To what extent am I subscribing to the values I purport to hold dear? I may be a poor judge in answering this question -- all I can say is that I find it very interesting that I've sequenced them as such.

Stanford has been extremely intellectually stimulating. I was commenting that the environment in which one learns cannot be more conducive. Lessons are taught with much enthusiasm, there is great clarity in the knowledge being transferred, class participation is motivates you to participate as well. Office hours are on offer when you need help. There is little more you can ask for to help you grow.

As an alien (an affectionate term my Singaporean friend has decided to use for strangers in a foreign land), I must say I am acutely aware of the subtle differences in our social interactions.

"Hey, how're you doing?"

"Good, how about you?"

"Good"

Replaces the familiar.

"Hey!"

"Hey!"

As we pass by along the corridors.

We talk and its usually about random things. But it's been interesting to find out about things I've been unfamiliar with, their slang, their education system, their 'culture', their political system. I feel like I should step out of my room more than I currently am doing. But I guess I shall be satisfied with slowly learning the ropes and adapting to the social culture of America. At the same time coping with my 'growth'. I will learn how to make deep conversations with the people around me, find out their opinions on whatever tickles my fancy, agree or disagree, find firm friends, enjoy myself.

Influencing others, who and how?

Meaningful work, what and why?

The answers can be very apparent and obvious, but it could also be open to change. I will continually contemplate these questions in my 4 years.

My dad used to say he sought his contentment from deriving knowledge found in books. I think I'm starting to understand what he means. If there is one thing we know for certain, it is that knowledge we mastered is ours to keep and not subject to the exigencies of life.

Ironic. My essay I am now going to write so starts:

Knowledge is power.

consolidation

I'm packing my room right now. and i've been gradually putting my things into boxes. I just cleared my 'certs and trophies', all of which were dusty from neglect - and it seemed pretty apt that, in a way, I was stowing away the achievements of my past and moving on into university.

As the saying goes, "Past performance does not guarantee future success". I guess its time I put my head down and get to work; but in the next FIVE days in Singapore, I am determined to enjoy what little time I have left with those dear to me.

When it comes down to the crunch, we finally realise what is important to us; there is also a greater sense of urgency to accomplish all the things we set out to do at the start. what I have learnt in this past month or so is the need to keep my drive and motivation up especially in the middle of a long period. Hope I bear this in mind when I get over to the US.